I just got stood up.

I sat there, for an hour, in heels and make-up, with a glass of wine, and waited.

I’d had other plans that I’d cancelled to meet this person. Those plans may have just been staying over at my parents, which I do weekly, but they were plans nonetheless and I’d had to force myself off the couch to get ready.

But there I sat… after a while I texted, then I texted again, then I realised he wasn’t coming. He was never coming.

What a humiliating realisation.

Why do people do that? No matter how much of an arsehole or coward you are, how hard is it to send a simple text? Even a douche-y one that says ‘not coming’.

So, so disheartening.

Here I am, trying to keep my optimism, putting myself out there and, despite the many letdowns I’ve had through dating, still getting back up and saying, ‘maybe the next one will be better’.

How many hits do I take before I just lie there and resign myself to a life of isolated solidarity?

This may be the last one. Sigh.

Seriously - STOOD UP.

WTF?

Here I am, accidentally drunk on Thursday night. I poured myself one glass of wine to celebrate… well, to celebrate absolutely nothing except how genuinely contented I am at work at the minute. Then I poured myself another to celebrate… well, to celebrate that tomorrow is Friday.

Oddly enough, that was all I needed to feel ‘the buzz’, and now here I am, catching up on ‘Puberty Blues’ and feeling the urge to write a blog; though unsure what it is I’m going to be writing about.

I haven’t written anything decent in sometime (don’t expect it tonight), and I suppose that’s because I haven’t had anything new, interesting or enlightening happen to me.

I haven’t had a date in about six weeks. This is for a number of reasons:

* The Casual Arrangement burnt me. It was my own fault for falling into the trap of looking for too much, looking too much into it, looking for something that wasn’t there… looking, looking, looking.

* The men who I’ve chatted to online in the last six weeks (on the rare occasions I’ve been online and disillusioned to the reality of what is there at the minute) have been any and all of the following: devoid of any brain matter whatsoever, apparently hard consistently, needy, boring, self-involved, arrogant.

I’ve had some bizarre deletions, questions and confrontations.

* Due to Wubs and I saving for our big overseas adventure to Scotland, England and New York in December/January, we haven’t been going out at all - meaning a lack of opportunity to meet gents - although when we were gonig out we had hit a lull anyway.

* I’m disinterested and am looking for someone to find me. Contradictory, but true. Don’t I deserve to be found sometimes? That was rhetorical you cheeky bastards, I do.

So where does this leave me?

It leaves me rewinding those oh-so-desirable staged kisses we see in TV shows and films and watching them over, pretending I’m the lady getting kissed.

This means I’ve kissed the following leading men in the last six weeks:

Adam Scott, Charlie Hunnam, Justin Kirk, Beau Mirchoff, Jason Segal, and all manner of other men.

I am a popular lady indeed.

Ramble over!

Things I am fed up hearing from men when it comes to organising to meet-up, hang-out, hook-up:

“I guess I’ll be free…”

“I’ll probably have nothing on…”

“Maybe…”

“I think so…”

“Perhaps we could…”

“If I’m available…”

“At this point, yes…”

“If nothing changes between now and then…”

How about go f*** yourselves?

Seriously.

Yes or no. YES, OR NO! None of this maybe shit. If you can’t, you can’t, if you can, you can… but don’t leave me waiting around for a text or phonecall when I could be doing something else.

What a load of wank.

Click HERE for further information on how women tick.

More fool them, I’m freakin’ awesome to hang out with.

As soon as I finished posting my blog yesterday, I had a response from The Casual Arrangement.

He explained that having just gotten out of a long-term relationship, he is flakey and unable to commit to anything, no matter how big or small. He apologized and explained that he does want to see me, he just can’t make any promises.

Fair enough. I replied. I’m not looking for a boyfriend, but I am looking for a friend with whom I can share boyfriend-type-benefits. This means I need to still be treated like a friend. I finished the text by stating that his honesty was appreciated, and it’s all in his hands now.

I felt better. Instantly. Because we were honest, and you can’t ask for much more than that. He may text to hang out, he may not. It doesn’t matter anymore.

Within two minutes of sending this text, my message tone alerted me to pick up my phone. But it wasn’t him… it was a new contact I’d recently made online asking me out for a drink.

Not five minutes later, another contact I’d been chatting with for the last week also asked me out.

I always get so frustrated when I miss a bus, because it feels like I have to wait forever for the next one when all I want to do is get on with my day. But another bus does always come along.

There is always, always, another bus.

So I followed all of the tips from my previous post to the letter, and I came off as a pretty cool chick to The Casual Arrangement.

However, when I had to pretend to be okay with him flaking on me for the THIRD time this week, I’d had enough.

I caved. Last night after we’d organised for him to come over after he’d finished having drinks with a friend, he said he’d text no matter how late it was to let me know what the go was. I waited. I stupidly waited until 10.30 when I vocally declared to myself that it was another flake and took myself to bed.

Today, I texted him telling him that it’s fine if he’s not that keen on catching up again, but he needs to let me know so I’m not left feeling like a dick trying to meet up with him every time he has to cancel.

Oh, I know. Read the signs. He’s clearly not interested. He’s using you for whatever. You’re putting yourself out there when it’s a waste of time. Yada, yada, yada.

But I still need confirmation. The second I get confirmation or denial I know where I stand and how to proceed. Often, the second I get confirmation, I cut my losses and I move on to my next target.

He has not responded. I do not really expect him to. I am annoyed about this but I suppose it is the answer I need.

This girl just can’t play the game.

If you haven’t realised, I haven’t written an update on my dating adventures for a couple of weeks.

There is a simple reason why - I’ve found myself in a Casual Arrangement of sorts and I haven’t been sure where I am in the whole ‘Write About Dates and Those You’re Dating’ scheme of things because I’ve seen this person more than once.

I’ve been on other dates too, but none I’ve felt worth writing about.

The only update you need is:

* One of these dates was passionate, smart, motivated, ethical, held strong values, handsome, friendly and very interested in me. Why wasn’t I interested? No idea. Just wasn’t. Can’t help it. I was intrigued, I was engaged, but I wasn’t attracted. Shame.

* One of these dates was arrogant, disinterested, boring, incredibly good looking and incredibly inept when it came to passion, protocol and performance.

So, the Casual Arrangement Date has caused me quite a bit of ‘Going Batshit Crazy’. Not his fault, just me over-analysing, over-complicating and over-doing it. I started out so aloof and cool. Just not my style I guess.

Him: seems like a great guy, only after casual dating but respectful and friendly, good to talk to, good in bed, HOT.

All ticks.

Must. Not. Get Attached.

Must remain disengaged.

Have learnt a few things about being in the world of Casual Arrangement:

* Do not over-text

* Do not go nuts if he does not text back

* If you are going to text, ensure there is a question in there. I have learnt that men are more likely to respond to questions (THANK YOU THERAPIST FOR THIS TIP) than just a statement.

* Do not seem ‘needy’ (HATE that word)

* Do not drunk-text (A logical one, but still one I need to learn. Jesus, I’m 27)

GAH.

Am I cut out for this casual-relationship thing? We shall see.

I refused a date and politely deleted a guy from my Dating Contacts because I found out he was allergic to cats. Well, really. Where could it possibly go if I had to choose between him and my love of felines? Where, I ask you?